This year will be my first American Thanksgiving in the United States and, hopefully, not the last one either. As an international student from Scotland (born and bred in Pakistan), I am still at the intersections of my new American educational and cultural learning. A few weeks into the Fall term, one of my classmates mentioned Thanksgiving, which got me curious. To be fair, while I heard the term before, I was not familiar with its context, complexity, and importance in modern American life.

What does it mean to celebrate Thanksgiving in the US?

After some online research and talking to people around me at the campus, I realized that Thanksgiving is more than a holiday - a bittersweet past, whose memory has been institutionalized in American history, consciousness, and culture through the state as a (Federal Holiday) and through education (Thanksgiving enacted through children's plays in school culture). I also realized that the concept of Thanksgiving in American life and culture is a sensitive one, which can evoke strong emotions depending on which side of the story you are. There is a story of Pilgrims who arrived in the New World, and then there is a story of the Natives, who have lived on this land for centuries, who felt dispossessed of their land and environment, through violence and conflict. There is nothing much we can do to change the past; however, we can remember the past to change our present and future. The modern-day myth of the holiday is in stark contrast to the history of the holiday.

My mum always said to me that to understand where you are going, you need to know where you have come from. So let’s explore together how we ended up celebrating Thanksgiving, and let’s explore the past together (however hard, dark, and violent it is).

Is this not the whole point and spirit of Thanksgiving - to reflect, to pause, to reset and refresh during this season of gratitude?

For those who are unfamiliar with the term, like me, Thanksgiving is often referred to as the time when the Europeans, often referred to as Pilgrims, fleeing war and persecution, arrived in Massachusetts on the Mayflower ship in 1620. The Pilgrims formed an alliance with some native Indian tribes such as Wampanoag against Powehatten, whose land and lives were destroyed; they then celebrated with the First Thanksgiving: a bitter-sweet history of the New World. Lost and exhausted, the native people provided them the very thing they were looking for: the warmth of human care, community, and compassion. In 1637, the English Pilgrims made alliances with Narrangansetts and Mohegans, and set the whole village of Pequot tribe near the Mystic River which is now Connecticut.

This sad reality, often overlooked, is how the Europeans massacred native tribes and decimated their lifestyles and lives by settlers who had commercial ambitions. According to the National Park Service, archaeological and genetic evidence show that Native people have been living in North America for at least 23,000 - 30,000 years. The European Pilgrims introduced smallpox, venereal disease, and other illnesses against which indigenous people had no natural immunity. It is well documented how the Europeans used their sophisticated weapons, such as gunpowder, to plunder, loot, and take control of indigenous territories at the expense of mass murder. Thanksgiving is also associated with the Day of Mourning, where Europeans decimated Native Americans and their lifestyle, history, and land.

This is a tragic side of the story that should also be remembered during Thanksgiving.

On November 22nd, I had the pleasure of attending the 30th American Indian Heritage Celebration in North Carolina, which was an opportunity to showcase, recognise the native American Indian tribes, their contributions, rich culture, music, and dance. One speaker mentioned how Thanksgiving will be an opportunity to remember, recognise the sacrifices made by the native ancestors for their land who have been living here for centuries. This I believe, is the spirit of Thanksgiving.

Indigenous tribes representing their music, dance, and culture at the 30th Annual American Indian Heritage Celebration - Author’s pictures.

It would be unfair not to mention the role of Sarah Josepha Hale, who is often regarded as the God mother of Thanksgiving who advocated for making the holiday a national act of unity and gratitude to God. Sarah, a resident and editor of Godey’s Lady’s Book, petitioned the federal government in 1840 to make Thanksgiving a federally-recognized holiday . As a writer, Hale developed a passion for depicting the early life and manner of New England, with the larger family surrounded by the tables and farmers gathered together to display the produce of their labour. According to Sarah, the togetherness at the table was gratitude of heart, and thanksgiving for all what was provided.

Sarah once wrote that "[It] is considered as an appropriate tribute of gratitude to God to set apart one day of Thanksgiving in each year; and autumn is the time when the overflowing garners of America call for this expression of joyful gratitude.”

This passion became Sarah’s life long mission to ensure that every year this occasion is celebrated to bring unity in the communities across the land. She initially found no success due to the Civil War. With the hope to bring the communities together and heal the wounds of the nations, President Lincoln, in 1863, declared a National Thanksgiving to be celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November.

The American Thanksgiving is now etched onto the consciousness of American culture and history and it is the only the third Federal Holiday to be declared, along with Independence Day and President’s Day.

Thanksgiving is a story of all those who came before us (natives and non-native Americans) - the story of our life, survival, resilience, and community.

Is that not what we human beings strive for; a place for belonging, for recognition, regardless of where we come from?

Yesterday, I was invited to my first Friendsgiving, a new word for my vocabulary too. It was exhilarating to experience American student life like this. The consortium of local Churches came together to provide food to students at the University of Chapel Hill. It was a time to sit together, and strangers turned into friends. Thanksgiving brought us all together.

And after sharing the meals, all those who sat around the table were asked about one thing they were ‘thankful’ for.

I was surprised to hear the simplicity of the answers – when all those who gathered thanked us for the good weather, food, friends, community, and care.

Do we not care about these things anyway?

There is something about American Thanksgiving that is leaving me more appreciative of things I have not thought about. Life, the breath, good health, opportunities to study, share time with friends, learn and grow. Heart full of Gratitude.

Not everyone in the world has this luxury.

When you sit down with your family and friends this Thanksgiving, think about the first Europeans who came here to this newly founded world. Fraught with fears—of hunger, death, and disease. Think also about the Native Indians, who continue to hold on to their values and rich traditions handed down to them from their ancestors. Despite all the challenges, they continue to live, thrive, and belong here, as I witnessed on the first day during my visit to their annual celebration on November 22nd.

This Thanksgiving, my wife and I have been kindly invited by a Rotary family to share a Thanksgiving meal with them. We do not know them fully, but the point of meeting strangers-turned-friends at the time of Thanksgiving is all that Thanksgiving is about.

I went out to the University of North Carolina campus to speak with students to learn what Thanksgiving means to them. Here is what they told me.

So tell me, what does Thanksgiving mean to you?

Despite the horrors of American history linked with Thanksgiving, it is a reminder that freedom we have today is a blessing, built on the sacrifices of men and women who fought for this land and for them - be the gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Note: If you are a student at the University of North Carolina and you will not be leaving campus, the university offers Tar Heel Thanksgiving on November 27th. You are welcome to join. Please sign up and see the details here.

Thanksgiving is a Story of Survival, Resilience, Unity, and Community